Day 21 - Supports for the journey of Life


Quotes

"When setting out on a journey, Do not seek advice from those who never left home." - Rumi

"Show your worth by what you seek." - Rumi

"Listen to silence. It has much to say." - Rumi

"Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go." - Rumi

Intention

To develop an understanding of change and a personal action plan for managing it.    
     

My process

I decided to attempt a stylized botanical drawing of poppies (using gel pens) against a water-colour background. I chose poppies as they are flowers representing remembrance, as in the final analysis, the past informs and colours the stories we tell. I chose pink and yellow in the background to represent love and joy.

Journaling Prompt

This course has been about bringing about  transformative change in your life. Change when it happens unexpectedly can mean one or all or three types of loss - loss of security, loss of territory and/or loss of relationships. Though, change is a fact of life, when it comes, we can experience a range of negative emotions - fear, anger anxiety, physical symptoms as well, to name a few, as change makes us vulnerable. 
        Change can be anticipated and dealt with effectively if we understand the process. There are three stages to change. 
Stage one involves a phase of shock, anger and denial, followed by a phase of bargaining, depression and focusing on the past
Stage two involves transition with an emphasis on the self
Stage three marks the beginning of the new, and includes a commitment or acceptance phase followed by an exploration phase, which focuses on the future.
       Transitions are not easy and often require help from a qualified professional (please seek one out if you need to). Transitions need time, and a willingness to experience the entire process, no matter how hard it seems. The only way to successfully emerge from a transition is to live through it fully. That said, there are specific steps for mastering personal change. They are:
1. Create commitment to visioning a new future. What will it look, feel, smell, taste and sound like?
2. Acknowledge the issues facing you in relation to change. Where do you feel stuck? What is it hard to let go of? What is painful? Make your peace with looping through the process several times, backsliding and moving ahead constantly, knowing that each journey through the loop takes you closer to the end of the process.  Challenge yourself. Change is not merely about loss. It is about challenging yourself to learn new ways to have your best life.
3. Take control of yourself. Think and do things that make you feel as sense of accomplishment. This is really important to build up your self esteem to help you reach your goals.' Ask yourself - What have I done well in the past? What do I do well now? What achievements am I proud of? What can I learn about me from them? Control what you can and recognize that even if you cannot control circumstances or people, you can definitely control your own thoughts and your reactions.
4. Learn to control your reactions - specifically: gather information and stories about what is likely to happen next, seek help and support constantly, suggest new avenues and pathways to yourself, find new circles in which to gain support and ideas, practice self-care (this is perhaps the most important part of the process). Ask yourself: Judging from where I am and how I feel now, what is likely to happen next if I continue in this way? What do I need to change to feel better and get to where I want to go? Which of these changes can I handle just now? (Choose not more than three changes to tackle at a time.) Where and how can I learn new thoughts, skills and ideas to support me?  Where can I find like-minded people who will help me along the way? What can I give in return?
5. Learn to manage yourself -Learn what thoughts and affirmations build you up, be kind to yourself, jettison networks and contacts that are not supportive of the process. If you cannot, invest in strategies to counteract their painful impact. Make an active effort to view the future in a positive way. Take action however small, consistently and continuously. Build, use and celebrate your strengths, the old one and the new ones which you are developing.
6. Set up a self renewal plan - Ask: What parts of my nutrition, exercise and thought patterns can I improve? How can I make time for rest and recreation? Do not underestimate the importance of these in facilitating change.
7. Learn to recognize 'victim' thoughts and behavior in yourself and start learning skills to change these. Ask yourself - What thoughts do I habitually have that weaken me? What can I replace them with? If I were the hero/heroine of my life, what would I do next? Where am I doing well? What can I improve? How? If I am trialing a new course of action, what are the possible positives and negatives? What is the likelihood of each happening? Have I developed a strategy to cope with these?
8. Create and expand your support network. Who are the people who are habitually kind to me and who support me? Who can I learn new skills from? Who can I support and teach my skills to? (The best way to reinforce new skills is to practice them and teach them to other people). Contribute what you can. This is not about money (though it could be). You have skills, ideas and time which you can judiciously contribute to building up both yourself and people and causes that matter to you. Making a contribution is a great way to reinforce skills and build networks of like-minded people. Stay connected with people, but ensure that your communications support who you want to be. 
9. Stay motivated. The best way to do this is to create a vision or roadmap for where you want to go, complete with milestones along the way. The following help in doing this - a Mission Statement, Visionboard/dreamboard, Project Plan, Contingency Plan, Affirmations. It is possible to learn the skills necessary to create each of these. They are invaluable for staying on track. Resolve to learn new skills and do it. If a thought process or skill no longer works for you, it is obsolete, don't spend precious time and energy defending it. Learn something new that is relevant to the person you are becoming.
While navigating the process of change remember the following:
1. Listen to yourself. Ideally record your thoughts, feelings, ideas and any random responses you have in a journal. Besides being a valuable record, this helps you focus on yourself and see what is really working for you and what is not.
2. Focus on a few actions at a time. 
3. Allow yourself as long as it takes. Set deadlines and milestones but remember that they are guides. Life happens. It is important to be flexible while staying on track and that includes not being rigid about timelines.
4. Review your action plan daily.

The next post will be the final post of this course. It will focus on ideas for using what you have learnt. 

Daily Wrap Up:

     After completing your artwork and journal entry, consider the following questions:
   - Has my work followed the suggested theme? 
- - Is a particular motif, story or message persistently showing through in my work? What does this suggest to me?
   - If not, is there a pattern, underlying suggestion, message or idea which it has raised. 
   - Is this pattern related to my previous journal entries?
   - Would I like to follow it further? If so, how can I do that in a way which empowers me?
   - How do I feel about the work I have done? Why?
- - Do I feel any resistance to the process? Why?
    In your journal, write up a few comments answering these questions, or else highlight the sections of your written work that seem to suggest a pattern or feature you would like to work on. 
 The final post tomorrow will suggest how you can use the material you have generated in your 'Daily Wrap Up' comments.


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